So after a few days, we started to second guess ourselves. I knew for a fact, I was not going to abort. I feel bad for even writing this, but Daniel was thinking about abortion. It's my decision in the end, but his "request" made me feel bad. He wasn't even sure what he wanted. Abortion just wasn't my thing what so ever. The next day, he took everything back and we decided, we're definitely keeping this baby, no matter what. I wanted to make sure that this was definitely happening. I called Planned Parenthood and made an appointment for a pregnancy test. I called my cousin, Monique "Mo", and she was the first one I told. She was always there for me, we were the best of cousins. I asked her to be there with me at the appointment. I had to fill out all these paper work and she was running a little late. I was so scared. I didn't know what to expect. She made it on time, but I had to go in alone. I took a urine test, and the lady sure told me it was positive. She even told me my due date and how far along I was according to my first day of my last period! I had no idea about pregnancy. She told me I was five weeks! I was due in August! I remember I cried to her after, and she told me "options". I already knew I was keeping it though. Once I got out of the building, I cried and cried so hard to my cousin. She consoled me in the best way that she can. I remember we went out to eat, and went to Target. We even looked at baby stuff! We looked at the carseats, and there was one carseat named "Marissa", it was pink with brown flowers. She swore it was a sign! I was starting to slowly by slowly get excited. Just not the fact of telling my parents.
I didn't even have to tell my mom. She found out pretty much on her own. My step dad was spying on me pretty much and looking at the history on our computer. I google EVERYTHING and I guess he saw that I was looking at pregnancy stuff. He told my mom, and she asked me. I kept denying it, but we both knew the answer. She just pretty much wanted me to verbally tell her. I finally did. She acted so different towards me from that day on, almost like she was resenting me. During the week of Christmas, she kept threatening to me that she was going to tell Tony (my step-dad). Me and his relationship has never been that "great" and he's always been extremely protective and strict since he moved in, like more than six years ago. Anyway, she finally told me she was going to tell him on Christmas day! I was so mad at her. I said, can you please wait til the next day at least. This was supposed to be a family day and a happy day. She wouldn't budge. I was supposed to go to another family gathering from my real dad's side. He wasn't going to be there, he lives in Arizona and can't afford to come down here (California). When I left the house around 6pm or so, I gave my step dad a big hug, because I thought that would be the last time for awhile. I was so scared. I left the house with my brother and we drove to my aunt's house. I couldn't hold it in, so I started crying and I told my brother that I was pregnant. I was scared for his reaction too. Surprisingly, he was very calm and okay with it. He's 17 and acted very mature about the information and even tried to console me. Our relationship was very different, we weren't that close ever. Everything changed the day I told him. During the whole "christmas family party" I couldn't even act like myself. I kept wondering... 'What did Tony do?' 'How did he react?' I stayed there for as long as I could. About 9pm. On the way back, my brother suggested that I go talk to his girlfriend's mom, Timi. I remember that he has mentioned that she is extremely understanding and doesn't not judge a single human being. I wasn't ready to go home, and I wanted my parents to be asleep when I got there. I didn't want to hear no speech. When I told Timi, I immediately cried and cried. My brother was in the room and he cried as well. Timi was so welcoming and said if I ever needed to stay at her house, I could. I was terrified of my parents, so was my brother. My brother cried because he was afraid for me too. It was finally around midnight or later and we went home. They were asleep on the couch so I quickly went to my room and never went out of it, unless I had to go to work. It was like that for a few days. One day I woke up thinking everyone went to work and school. I heard that Tony was still home. He opened up my door, and told my dog to get out of the room. I was pretending to be asleep but he still woke me up. We had a long, and suprisingly good talk about what is going on. He said he was so upset that he left and was so close to go and get drunk and buy cigarettes, that he quit a long time ago. He pulled himself together though. He cried to me and said that he felt as if he failed, and I told him he could only pretect me to a certain extent. The rest, is my actions....my decisions...my mistakes. He said that no matter what, he was going to support me. After this, he acted like the same Tony before he found out. I was beginning to feel a little bit better about all this. Both of my paretns knew. Except for my real dad...and Daniel's parents.
to be continued...
