So lately I have been really bad about updating this blog. I feel bad, but I'm not the best at "writing" daily. I'm going to try though. I do enjoy it when I have the time. Relieves some stress. Let's see. Well, not too long ago, a friend from high school added me on Facebook. We had eachother for a class and she was just a very fun and nice girl. So after a week or two of me and her being friends via Facebook, she comments me. I couldn't believe my eyes. She wrote to me "Hey, How are you etc.?" Then she wrote "Oh I see you had a baby, congrats" Is she fucking serious? Like...for reals?? No fucking way. I never wrote back and deleted the comment asap. I'm so glad I caught it right away so people couldn't see it. It was posted on my wall. I felt so embarassed in a way and just full of hate. I don't understand and get some people, I really don't. Ever since I worked at Guest Services at Target, I really learned how dumb and ignorant people can be. But this?! Come on. I'm still speechless. I don't have the right words to describe her actions. Did she seriously not see the other pictures of my babies' grave site and me saying how much I miss my ANGEL baby. Whatever. I haven't run into any ignorant people for a while now, until her. Um, so that was that.
After talking constantly to my mom about getting a Best Buy card by her co-signing for me, she accepted and then we were told we would be verified in the mail. That's most likely a NO. I was super excited. I actually wanted to cry, because I was so sure I was going to be getting my new camera and putting something good towards it. I wanted to do something nice and special for other fellow Baby Lost Mama's. Wasn't quite sure what, but I knew I was so ready. So, I'm not sure what's going to happen now. Sigh. I'm kind of thinking of getting one from Target since they sell them there too! Plus I can use my discount. We'll see though.
One last thing I want to mention is Jr.'s 3 months was on July 2nd, 2010. I also would have been 34 weeks. It was hard. I can't believe I would have been 34 weeks, now going on 35 weeks. Too crazy. I miss being pregnant with Jr. I didn't get the chance of feeling major kicks (only soft little pokes) or not being able to sleep at night because of his movement. I didn't get to see him in 4D like we planned. I didn't get to shop for him. I didn't get to have the chance to find out the sex without any surprises and devastating news. I didn't get to have a babyshower. I was supposed to already have it by now. Damn. It just hit me. I was sooo excited. You have no idea. To have my baby shower :( Wow. So on his 3 months, me and Daniel went to go visit him and put some pretty fourth of July flowers for him. I'm glad we are making this a tradition for every month.
After talking constantly to my mom about getting a Best Buy card by her co-signing for me, she accepted and then we were told we would be verified in the mail. That's most likely a NO. I was super excited. I actually wanted to cry, because I was so sure I was going to be getting my new camera and putting something good towards it. I wanted to do something nice and special for other fellow Baby Lost Mama's. Wasn't quite sure what, but I knew I was so ready. So, I'm not sure what's going to happen now. Sigh. I'm kind of thinking of getting one from Target since they sell them there too! Plus I can use my discount. We'll see though.
I don't know what's gotten into me lately but I just totally failed my Weight Watcher's. I think I just got so discouraged because I wasn't losing the weight fast enough. I was being too lazy to go to the gym. It's summer and I want to enjoy the foods I like :] LOL. But I really do need to snap out of it and get back on track. I need to make some time. I'm so self conscious and yet I do this. Oh, and I tried to make a seperate blog for things other then my baby boy Jr. Like when I go off topic just like right now. I'm still trying to learn how to work that because on the ABOUT ME, I don't want it to say the EXACT same thing as it does on this one. I don't want to mess it up. But To say so the least, I can honestly say...I've been doing alright lately. I've been TRYING to keep busy by decorating my room, more work, and studying for my summer online course for college. When I work, I've noticed lately that people just don't act the same towards me like they used to when I was pregnant or even before that. They don't come to talk to me like before. Some kind of just show no interest in me anymore. It's so weird. I'm okay though. I'm not going to be sad about that. Fuck them, I say. I've been spending more time with closer friends. That's all that matters. And family of course.
Father's Day. It went pretty well. I had work til about 7pm. Then I made Daniel dinner at my house. I made him spaghetti and meatballs. At the table we set up Jr.'s memorial and lit his candle in honor of him. I ordered Daniel a dogtag from MyForeverChild.com and it didn't come in time (I thought it was). Instead I got it like a week and a half later. Daniel LOVED it. He thought it was going to be bigger and it was like medium sized (which he preferred). He didn't want it to look too "gangster" looking lol. I felt complete that me and Jr.'s dad had the same rememborance for him.
One last thing I want to mention is Jr.'s 3 months was on July 2nd, 2010. I also would have been 34 weeks. It was hard. I can't believe I would have been 34 weeks, now going on 35 weeks. Too crazy. I miss being pregnant with Jr. I didn't get the chance of feeling major kicks (only soft little pokes) or not being able to sleep at night because of his movement. I didn't get to see him in 4D like we planned. I didn't get to shop for him. I didn't get to have the chance to find out the sex without any surprises and devastating news. I didn't get to have a babyshower. I was supposed to already have it by now. Damn. It just hit me. I was sooo excited. You have no idea. To have my baby shower :( Wow. So on his 3 months, me and Daniel went to go visit him and put some pretty fourth of July flowers for him. I'm glad we are making this a tradition for every month.
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i love you
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